Good Looking – To Be or Not To Be

When I first looked into this challenge, I barely skimmed through the daily topics because I wanted it to be an on the spot kind of thing. But now that I sit here ready to write, I realize, it isn’t as easy as I want it to be. Though I want to write about how I love my body and that I’m absolutely comfortable with it – I just can’t. Because that would make me a hypocrite. I could go on and on and on about how you should ignore what others say and just focus on you being happy, but that would just be me writing something that’s been said already.

It’s been said over and over by almost everyone who has a voice. Love yourself. Love  your body. But do you, just like me, see the irony in these quotes ? 75% of the women saying this have  perfect bodies. They eat healthy and are regulars at the gym and/or swear by yoga. Yeah they have to work for it as well but I am not in the same place as they are ! I have to either work or study or work and study to be able to afford the same lifestyle choices they make. So all said and done, it’s NOT that easy to look great. Atleast not by the society’s standards anyway.

Maybe if the world were a little different, our views of beauty would’ve been different. Fat would be sexy, skinny would be ugly. Dark would be beautiful and fair would be just fine. Short would be a quality and tall would be a curse. Acne would mean beautiful skin and a clear face would just be boring. A tiny butt would be attractive and a huge one would just be disgusting. 28A would be a great bra size and 36C would be weird. Doesn’t that sound like an ideal world ?

NO. It doesn’t. Because it’s still a judgemental one ! What is all this pressure to look a certain way ! Shouldn’t we be proud of how different we look from each other ? How we’re all different shapes, sizes and colors – all from the same source : God/Science (whatever you believe in). The oldest religions of the world say that Adam was made out of mixed clay – which is why the world today has different races. I don’t know how true that is, but it’s beautiful. We were created to be different from each other. And if you’re a greater believer of Science, we mutated to the best possible version of us as per our requirements. This you is the Best you. Any other you would not have been able to survive this long. 

When I talk about my body : I don’t just talk about the fact that I am 10 kg over my “ideal” weight. I also include in it my skin, my hair, the fact that my nose is weirdly shaped. Or that my hips are huge and my butt is whatever. This is sad because even if I were to reach my goal weight, I’d just find another issue to cry about. Eventually not being happy and trying to change that about myself. I very seriously considered getting my arms toned by laser, two weeks before my wedding, last year. I was ashamed of it before but as time has gone by, I’m glad I didn’t do it. It’s not because I’m a feminist and all that ish. Feminism didn’t have much to do with it, it was just a simple question of what difference was it gonna make. My fiance fell in love with who I was, all 66 kilos of me. I didn’t have any diseases that toned arms could fix. All of my wedding clothes had already been bought and altered. It’s possible that people would have acknowledged it and said things like oh wow you look so great, but they were saying that anyway ! The ONLY reason I wanted to get slimmer arms was because I was conditioned to believe that was beauty. And even if that IS beauty, I was further conditioned into believing that anything else was an abomination.  

Yeah you can blame the media, patriarchy, Victoria’s secret and alll that falls in this category for it, but it ends up on your mindset, eventually. If suddenly, being overweight was trending, would you overeat to keep up ? Would you look at yourself in the mirror and think “I need to gain 10 lbs !” ? Even the idea seems repulsive right now, doesn’t it ? THAT’S how deep rooted this mind set is.

Believe it or not, your height, weight and other looks in general have nothing to do with who you are as a person. It’s not going to get in the way of your education, it’s not gonna mess up your career, it’s not gonna affect your relationships. Unless you let it. Unless you let it affect you so much that it shows and gives people a very visible power over you. You’re unstoppable girl, don’t let 13 lbs tell you otherwise. Don’t let that nose get in the way of your amazing skill. Don’t let an inch less or more be the reason you stopped going out. And DO NOT let any asshole, ANY ASSHOLE AT ALL, tell you how you don’t fit in with the society’s definition of beautiful. You ARE beautiful and let nobody tell you otherwise !

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Disclaimer: I am in no way saying that you don’t need to lose weight if you are sick. Please don’t hate, and consider this is for general, unaffected by weight in terms of health – population only. By all means, going to the gym is a healthy lifestyle provided you do it for the right reasons. All I mean to say is that you don’t have to kill yourself over looking a certain way.

 

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6 thoughts on “Good Looking – To Be or Not To Be

  1. Sanjay says:

    Exactly what we discussed just before that bowl of ice-cream. 😜

    Jokes apart, now that’s the kinda things you write about. Very well written. Keep it going. 👍🏽

    Like

  2. Eram Fatima says:

    Yes dts right . Tody we really faced lot of racism n there’s lot of pressure to be like ds n dt. I earlier ws really obsessd wd deepika padukon’s body n really practised yoga. Bt nw m tired of being like sm1 else. The grl in me is awake nw n i dnt need anybody to look like. Evrybdy is prfct in their own way. Truly said.😇😘

    Like

  3. Immad Uddin Khan says:

    I was bullied for being fat. Developed myself in a reserved kind of a person. Growing up, I joined a gym and went on a crash diet as I could not handle the bullying and taunts anymore. 3 years on, I soon realized that the people who were real with me were real because of who I am and not because of how I looked. Fat, thin, zero size, no size, plus size, whatever…it is important to be BEAUTIFUL from the inside! Well written! 🙂

    Like

    • girlwithscarfblog says:

      Very true ! Often in our efforts to be the perfect versions of ourselves, we forget whose version we should look at ! In the end, as long as YOU are happy, nothing else matters ! Thank you for reading !

      Like

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